Sunday, February 17, 2013

0 Of Mixed Emotions and Such

Awesome Buddy,

I'm not quite sure how to start this. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Just to let this out maybe. I'm in no position to be like this, I know, because we are not a "WE" but you cant deny the fact that there is (or was? I don't really know) something, right?

You are a good conversationalist. We can go for hours and hours about any topic under the sun. Knowing you made me feel that I am a beautiful person inside and out. That I can do anything that I set my mind to. You made me face reality with a solid resolution. You helped me move on.

From the start, I know I cant fall for you even though you are easy to fall with. You know your way to a woman's heart. You know what you are doing. You are a perfect gentleman if you want to be one. I kept my emotions under control whenever I am with you. There are far too many complications to mention. I know its dangerous to be with you but still you draw me in like a moth to the fire. I know I'll get burned if I move closer but your light and your warmth began its hypnotic rhythm. I was entranced. I couldn't get out. Especially when you said to me that you liked me. To hell with every last restraint. I went in for a dive. Even though I know that I am not ready. Even though I know that I will only get hurt. Even though warning signs are flashing everywhere. I pretended I didn't see it coming. I turned the other way...

And then it did happen. One minute, we were texting like lovey doovey couples then another minute you are not texting anymore. What gives? is this just one of your games wherein if you made the girl fall for you you move on to your next target?  I believe our friendship is more than that but that was what you made me feel. It hurts.

I know I have to set my foot forward to prevent any more damage. To guard my heart from being broken again. You are still my awesome buddy, that will not change. a word of advice though, don't cross the line if you are not ready.

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