Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts

Sunday, July 7, 2013

0 Weekend blast!

This weekend was the best I had in a long time. Been busy with so many things but I am not tired. In fact, I feel relaxed. Im in nirvana. Emotional High!~ LOL! 

SATURDAY

Weekend blast started on Saturday afternoon. I get to bowl with my ex projectmates at coronado lanes, starmall. We haven't seen each other for quite a while so it was a nostalgic seeing them again.We joined our company's bowling tournament for fun. Personally, I am not playing bowling regularly and the tournament was just my second time to play but I was glad that our team captain told me that I look like I was playing for a long time already. stance and all. Yay! My shots have directions, he said. Also, First strike for me! :)

It was a new experience for me too and I enjoyed it. Hopefully we win. Go expendabowls! Played 2 sets by the way so my right arm is kinda sore.



bowling
bownling coronado lanes, starmall
After our bowl, I went straight home and decided to draw. My drawing is becoming rusty so i really need to practice. I just settled with a character design headshot. Will try dynamic poses if I have the time to draw again. ^_^ anyway, below is a picture of my drawing. I also get to write a short piece again yesterday and watch a movie(Shadow of a doubt - alfred hitchcock 1943). Horray for creative Saturdays!


character design
original character design

SUNDAY

I get to meet with a good friend so we can go to a surprise party for our officemate. I miss talking to her so I was happy to see her again. The surprise party was arranged by her boyfriend by the way. <3 We had a blast at the surprise party as we get to be kids again. we played games, ate and fooled around. The mascot was creppy. lol. When we asked for a picture, nagadik na si Jollibee. See proof below.  

jollibee

After the party, I decided to register for the MILO marathon 10k run. Was supposed to just register for 5k but the singlet for the 5k was unavailable. So there, 10k :) Goodluck to my 2 feet on July 28. 

I also shopped (more like splurged) a little at forever 21. I need to balance my sexuality, being a girl and all as much as I dont want to. Just joking!

After registering and shopping, I met up with a friend and to watch despicable me 2. Our first attempt was at SM noth cinema but the tickets are all sold out. We decided to go to Trinoma since its just near. It was also a fail. We decided to try for the last time at Shang rila cinema since it is nearer my house and if there are no seats, we will just go home and call it a day. Luckily there are still available seats for the 9:00pm slot. 

Despicable me 2 is just pure awesome! Hands down! been laughing the whole freaking time. Pharell Williams did a great job at the music. Makes me wanna groove to the songs. The cuteness of agnes and the minions are a complete package. Cuteness overload! :)


sunday

That is how my weekend ended. I had so much fun! hopefully the next weekend will be as awesome as this week! Keeping my fingers crossed! 

Monday, June 24, 2013

0 Zombie Apocalypse

Just watched World War Z a while ago and I am still experiencing residual effects of the movie and no, this is not a review about the movie. With the prevalence of zombie stories everywhere, The walking dead (Series), High School of the dead (manga), zombieland (movie), resident evil franchise (game/movie), last of us (game), its hard not to think that what if there came a time where the world will be crawling with the undead? I shudder to think what will happen to us if ever that came true.

Still, what if it came true? what am I gonna do? Where am I gonna go? Am I prepared for a zombie apocalypse? this question has been bogging me for quite some time now. So here is personal list of things that I need to accomplish pre and during apocalypse stage:

1. LEARN HOW TO DRIVE

     Most, if not all zombie movie contains car sequence. and face it, going on wheels covers more area than on foot and though its noisy, its still faster than hordes of running zombies. Plus, it offers additional protection from zombies trying to infect you. Also, its kinda badass to know how to drive. Simple as that.


2. KNOW HOW TO WIELD A MELEE WEAPON (SPEAR, LANCE, JAVELINS, POLEARMS ETC)

     Keeping zombies away from you as far as possible is one of the basic things to remember in every zombie movie I watched so melee weapons that still offer quite a distance from zombies are your best shot if ever you cant get your hands on guns, arrows and other long range weapons.

3. KNOW HOW TO SHOOT MOVING TARGET

     Aside from knowing how to shoot a gun, you should also know how to shoot a moving target. This will be particularly helpful when you are running for your dear life while still wanting to kill zombies.

4. PRACTICE RUNNING FAST

     This I am doing now. lol. you must have the energy and stamina to run for miles and miles, not to mention run fast as crazed zombies can reaalllyy run fast if they are after you. Either your brain is tasty or they are reaalllyy hungry all the time. Though I doubt that they are picky when it comes to food. as long as its healthy, scared and can reallly scream loud, they will come after you.


5. LOOK FOR A REFUGE/SAFESHOUSE

     During the infestation, you should find a safehouse to rest, restock, and keep the children safe. This will also serve as your fortress. You still need to get enough rest to have the energy to fight zombies right?

6. HAVE A COMPANION TO COVER YOUR BACK

     Having a buddy to talk to, to share thoughts, to plan attacks or other things with can really help with your sanity. Being alone for a long time can really take its toll on your mental health. Having someone around, even just a presence of someone normal, increases your chances of survival. You can cover each other's back, help in your decision making, etc. A lot better if you can find a group of maybe around 5-6 persons. That number is quite enough I think. not too crowded, not too few. Having someone to protect also helps. You tend to be rational in your decision making.

So thats it for my survival guide. What are you going to do if a zombie apocalypse ever happen? Additional thoughts are always welcome. :)

Saturday, June 22, 2013

0 SATURDAY

today started out fine. Dragged myself out of bed so that I can go to my dentist appointment. Bummer. Like, its one of those days where you just want to lie in bed the whole day and listen to your music player and be lazy.

Going to my dentist, I usually ride a jeepney and then the MRT but today, I kinda want to just take it slow and chillax. You get what I mean? Well anyway, I decided to ride the bus after the jeepney. It was a sssllloooowww ride so I got to think about many things. Nothing in particular though, just random bits and pieces here and there.

When I finally arrived at my dentist though, he already left! twice in a row! I haven't had a checkup in three months already so it was really depressing :(

Anyway, instead of sulking and having BV all throughout the day, I decided to just make the most of it. I decided to go to Megamall to checkout headphones as I've been itching to get one for a week now. This was triggered when my ever trusted Phillips SHQ1000 Actionfit sports waterproof headset broke down. (You will forever be remembered and loved ).




I've searched far and wide, (medyo OA) and finally settled for the  Philips ONEILL over ear Green headphones. You can find reviews of this product online as i'm in no position to review headphones but personally, I like the sound quality of this one. I was deciding between the stretch and the shibuya but the stretch won me over. Shibuya is the blue one below.



Philips Stretch

Philips Stretch

Philips Shibuya


While I was in the process of chosing between the two headphones, I decided to drop by globe center to settle some balances, and things about my plan. The wait was freaking long. Like, there are just 6 people ahead of me and it took me and hour and a half to be served. Luckily I was in no hurry.

So after buying my headphone I decided to chill by Starbucks shaw, my favorite chill spot. This is where I go if I want to think about my life, what to do with it and plan my future. Went there at around 4:30pm and was shocked to see so many people. Its usually not that crowded there at around that time so I was kinda disappointed. That didnt stop me from receding to my own world though. One mocha cookie crumble venti frappe and I was in my own thoughts. Thought of many things, planned and set my goal for the duration of the year, made a poem, updated my playlist and watched a movie. By the time that I got back to reality, the people were gone. Only a couple of customers were left. I didn't even noticed the thinning crowd in the coffee shop. I was that absorbed with myself. not in an obsessive, narcissistic way mind you, but in a way that I am in my own thoughts. 

I deeply treasure times like that where I get to know myself more and just enjoy my company. Yes I'm an introvert but that does not mean that I don't enjoy being around people. I have a couple of friends that I enjoy being with but I also enjoy being with just myself. 

Then, after some time, I decided to go home, eat dinner, surf the net and write this blogpost about my day. 

So how was your saturday?

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

0 Solitude

Recently, I've gone back to reading books more frequently. Thanks to almost every weekend travel trips. lol. I read to pass time while on the road and I can say that the best companion while traveling are books and music players. The inner recesses of  my mind is my happy place and having these two things makes me achieve inner peace.

One of the books I read was "Manuscript found in Accra" by Paulo Coelho. This was gifted to me by one of my best college buds on my birthday. Knowing that it was written by Paulo Coelho, I was sure that this was going to be a nice read. He did not disappoint.

The book contained nuggets of wisdom about many practical things in life. My favorite chapter is the one that deals with solitude. Let me quote some lines from the book:

"Solitude is not the absence of Love, but its complement.

Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.

Therefore, blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.
If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. “



 Many people often interchange the meaning of solitude and loneliness. Loneliness is marked by a sense of isolation and is more likely a negative feeling. Solitude on the other hand is a state of being alone without being lonely. Solitude can be refreshing.

Personally, I enjoy being alone the same way I enjoy being with other people. I don't understand why some people need other people ALL THE TIME to be with them and to accompany them.

Solitude makes me realize many things and help me reflect about my life, where I currently am and what I want to be.

Solitude makes me compose my thoughts, rearrange my life and set goals to accomplish what I want. 

Solitude enables me to know myself better. It lets me be just myself without pretension because of other people. It allows introspection.

It's also during my quiet time that I get to commune with my creator.






Sunday, May 5, 2013

2 forgiveness

worst feeling ever is when someone close to you hurt your feelings..
but because you value the friendship more,
you chose to ignore the pain and just forgive and forget..
life is too short to dwell on negative feelings.
smile and be happy.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

0 Random Musings

Sometimes I wonder if its really alright to invest so much feelings toward other people. You see, they have a tendecy to either leave you, hurt you, use you or make you feel like crap. You invest so much feelings but in the end, all is vain. Or it is possible that im just too trusting, always looking at the good in every person that sometimes people take advantage of me. I know that they cant take advantage of me if I dont allow it but... yeah.. okay.. its my fault.. its just that if I trust you, and you have proven to be trushworthy, I will be our friend to the end of time. I have a few people who knows the real me and i love these people dearly.

I have this dangerous combination: I easily fall in love and if I do, I fall really really hard. I guess that is also a problem.. i let emotions take control of me sometimes. Rational thinking be damned! Its not like I dont know what is right from wrong, its just that sometimes I compromise. Wait, let me change that, I compromise.. a lot.. I really need to change that attitude of mine. It makes things complicated.

I admire strong women who are comfortable on their own. They dont need the male species to be happy. Recently, I've been enjoying being single, just taking care of myself. Thinking about no one for a change,.. but there are times that I miss having someone to take care of.. having someone to take care of me.. to be his princess,, i miss having someone tell me that everyhing is alright.. of having the feeling that no matter what happens, there is that one person who will understand me,. who will be with me through whatever.. who will never leave my side.. who will hold my hand and hug me.. someone who will make me feel secure.. and these are those times...

in the end, i think that we should give our trust fully to others. If they broke your trust, hen its their problem. at least you cant blame yourself. You gave your best to keep your friendship.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

0 Hearts and Flowers

Its this time of the year again. Well, I actually don't see the point of Valentines. Maybe its just a marketing strategy cooked up by some company before to sell flowers, chocolates, balloons, or whatever token people usually give to their crush, loved one or special someone. You can give flowers to your loved one anytime of the year if you really appreciate her. (I think him in this context is not correct. Its usually the guys giving to the girls. lols. but whatever floats your boat. Its up to you.) Why February 14th? It just  ruins the sense of everything. Guys are pressured to give something to their girlfriends because they know that the other half is expecting. It's becoming more of a pissing contest. (For the girls also, mind you.) Pabonggahan ng natanggap na regalo. Wouldn't it be better if you received something on a day that no one receives something? Mas agaw eksena yun. You would feel more special. Just my thoughts though.

Also, whats with the flowers?? I appreciate flowers on a pot. alive. Cut flowers only last a couple of days. If the love of your partner is like the gift he will give you, doesn't that mean that his love will fade instantly? If I would receive something, I want to receive something tangible. Cards and letters are the best. Something that the guy actually worked hard for, gave a lot of effort and is romantic. Not just something bought in a shop. Expensive gifts don't amuse me. I don't care if its just some cheap pad paper, bond paper etc. as long as put effort in that gift, I would treasure it. As the saying goes, its the thought that counts. Plus, I'm not that comfortable carrying flowers around. (Yes I'm still straight!) I don't want attention. Though, there are times that I want to feel special too but please, not on Valentines.

One thing I admire about my parents is that in every occasion, valentines, wedding anniversary, or birthday, they always give each other cards. Usually the one bought at bookstores but they always make sure that the message in the card is what they really want to say to the other and that they always put a dedication on the blank side, usually some sweet nothings. You see, my father is not the type of person who shows emotion much (*ehem* may pinagmanahan) but during those times, he never fails to make my mother feel special. I only saw him give my mother flowers once. Not the extravagant flower arrangement type, but just a simple single-stem red rose. He had it delivered to our home. Maybe he also don't want to be seen holding flowers? haha. I guess I got that from him too.

So yeah, that sums up my thoughts about valentines. EFFORT goes a long way. So does cute panda stuffies, panda trinkets, etc. :)

Update: this was meant to be a valentines post. I just forgot to publish. This was a realization I had during the 'love' month. This is not be being bitter, its just me being myself. Then again, why am I explaining myself? This is my blog and I can post whatever I want. bwahaha *evil laugh*

Monday, April 1, 2013

0 MRT - Best Place to Be



MRT stored value card
Everyday commuting to reach the office, I ride the dreaded MRT. Metro Rail Transit line 3. The congested coaches, the faulty airconditioning and most of all, the people you see everyday. A menagerie of rare social animals. The types of people you see here are somewhat the reflection of what types of people living in the metro are.

I usually ride from Boni station and then alight at Magallanes station. 5 stations all in all including Boni and Magallanes. In between those 5 stations, you might get a birds eyeview of what filipinos are. This post might be biased though as I always ride with the ladies, handicaps, pregnant women and senior citizens when I am alone - and that is usually the case every morining.

I dont usually listen to music when riding the MRT one reason is because this has become a modus for pickpockets in the MRT and the other is when I listen to music, I am transported to a world purely on my own. I dont wanna miss the oportunity to observe the happenings in the MRT for my own world. There is a different time for that. lol. :)

Some examples of the people you meet in the MRT are:

1. The selfish type usually also the walang-pakialam-sa-dilaw-na-arrow-na-nakadrawing-sa-floor type

These are usually the first ones you will see upon reaching the platform of the train station. They will block the door of the train once it reaches a full stop oblivious to the markings in the floor indicating that you need to first let the passengers alight the train before boarding. This is simple logic. why cant some people get this? block the door and the people alighting the train cant go out. If they cant go out, there will be no space for new passengers, if there is no space, they simply cannot go in the damn train. Wouldnt be life more easier if they just let passengers get down first before riding? Sometimes I just want to get the attention of these people and indicate the markings on the floor. Maybe they just cant see the sign. Worst case, maybe they just dont care.

2. The walang-pakialam-sa-pila-siksik-lang-ng-siksik type

These types are also usually the ones who just got in the platform, see a line infront of the door but still try to squeeze themselves in wherever nook they found just to ride the MRT. Maybe they are running a bit late? but what about the other passengers who got there before them? dont they have any shame left in their system?

3. The I-dont-know-if-blind-or-nagbubulag-bulagan-or-insensitive type

As I said, I usually ride the first coach of the train for seniors, women, preggys and handicaps. Sometimes you will see these healthy, young and able bodied females sit in the seats in the train while all the while there is a senior citizen at their side who is having a difficulty standing up when the train is at full stop let alone when the train started to move. insensitive much? Pregnant women and handicaps (especially the lame) are not spared from the wrath of these types.

4. The telebabad-kung-telebabad-wapakels-sa-makarinig type

The type of people that are most likely subscribed to unlicall. They will make phonecalls while inside the train and talk with voices louder than what is deemed to be normal speaking voice. They will laugh, shout or do whatever reaction they make due to statements made from the other end of the line. People will sometimes stare at these types but they are oblivious to this fact as they are more concerned at the conversation between them and the person on the other end. I cant help but overhear some conversations between these people and most of the topic are about showbiz, the life story of their sisters' neighbors' husbands' brother or whoever relative, friend, or neighbor's life they deem to be interesting. In short, garbage information.

5. The grabe-makadikit-old-man type

My encounter with this type is one that I will not forget easily. The worst case I experienced (more likely watch because it didnt happen to me) with this type is between this girl (maybe in her teenage years) and an elderly old man maybe around 60-70. The girl alight in the train first. probably went in at the same station that I came from. She stayed near the door with her back on the door in the driver's pod. I stayed near the middle as the train wasnt that packed. I think its a weekend. Not sure. Then upon reaching the next station, an old man went in and went infront of the girl, facing her, both his arms raised a little above her head. (The horror. @.@ I cant imagine what I would do if that was me. ) As I said, the train wasnt packed. There are still some seats available so it was kinda weird why he positioned himself like that. As I was observing them, the girl was somewhat sending this mutinous, deathly glare in the direction of the old man but I dont think the old man care. I personally think he was enjoying himself. WHY?!?! I got down the station first so I didnt know what else happened but if that was me, I wouldve moved to another place. That position is soooo uncomfortable.

6. The kala-mo-ang-tagal-hindi-nagkita-kung-magkwentuhan type

Imagine the telebabad-kung-telebabad-wapakels-sa-makarinig times two. Double jeopardy. In this case, you hear both sides, not just one.

7. The colehiyala-grabe-magchikahan type

The rare type of kala-mo-ang-tagal-hindi-nagkita-kung-magkwentuhan. Their conversation has taglish version.

These are some of the people you will most likely encounter in riding in the first coach of the MRT. I dont know about the rest of the coaches. I heard they have it worse there.

Sadly, my current project will move to a different location. The new location does not require me to ride the MRT. Riding the MRT will surely be missed. The people, experience, headaches and all. Parting with you is such sweet sorrow. I look forward to the day that I will be ridding you again - or NOT!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

0 Happy Birthday!

Happy 10th birthday biboy


This blogpost is a tribute to my baby dear, biboy, who is celebrating her 10th birthday today. I decade of her life shared with us. She had been with us since I was in first year high school. She is a second generation pet as her mother was my first pet kitty. She had been a witness to all my teenage angst, rebellious years and all heartaches since my first boyfriend. She had been my pillow in nights when all I want to do is breakdown and cry. I think she had seen me cry more than any other human being alive. lol. She knows when to make lambing in times when I am down. Cause most of the time she is this mataray type. Haha. We also had our share of love-hate relationship. Through all the scratch marks, bite marks and pagtatarays I received, I still love you dearly from the bottom of my heart.

To my friend, my pet, my furry little sister, I hope we can still spend more time with each other. I know you are nearing your twilight years but I do hope we can still count years and years of being together. You will always have a special place in my heart that no other himan being can ever replace. You made it to 10 years old, is another 10 years with you too much to ask?


The Bleh Pose


Friday, March 29, 2013

0 Good Friday

bits and pieces of what transpired this good friday.

I woke up at around 6 in the morning with thoughts of running in greenhills. Figured that it was still early to go out ( I will run alone so I was kinda scared to go out :P ) so I slept again.

woke up at around 8 in the morning. Perfect time. Got up, prepared and went out the door.

Normal route was take a jeepney to wilson, jog from wilson to greenhills then run around depending on my mood how many times then jog from greenhills to wilson and ride a jeepney home.

As I think I mentioned in my other blogpost, running makes me think about many things in my life and also get a glimpse of what people are doing in their everyday lives.

Thought number 1:

because lately I have been used to running at night, I had no idea that the sun at 8am can be so hot. And I'm not being maarte here. I used to run before at 8am and the sun is not that hot. by hot here im not saying about the tolerable-healty-for-your skin hot. more like the 12nn-skin-cancer-nakakaitim type of hot. At 8AM! what happened? because of summer? global warming? ozone layer thinning and thinning by the minute? imagine what will happen 10 years from now? extreme hotness? ookayy.. panic mode here.. brain turned on hyperdrive. seriously though, by the trend we are seeing, it is definitely getting hotter and hotter as the years go by. what will happen to our planet 5, 10, 15 years from now? will the fall of mankind start? will the earth cease to exist? will zombies begin to evolve? everything is possible right?

anyway, next time I run in the morning, I will put on sunblock. I think I turned one to two shades darker because of yesterday. Not that I care about that though. I'm more concerned about having skin cancer. and yes, thats how paranoid I am.

Thought number 2:

On the way to greenhills, many people I pass by says 'Hi' or people from cars blow their horns and smile or wave at you. Usually, I get irritated by this unwanted attention. Like, why cant people just leave me alone and get on with their lives. I had many scary stories from similar incidents so I'm still kinda scared and cautious towards people, mostly from guys.  So when this particular person greeted me, I was surprised because I had this sudden urge to smile at him. Like someone was telling me to do that. That person was a security guard from Greenhills west by the way. So when I smiled at him he said 'jogging maam? ingat po kayo.' I was speechless. so I just nod and said thanks. In that incident, I realized that generalizing or stereotyping people is not healthy. Why avoid people because of just one, two or three incidents that happened? incidents that made you lose hope in mankind altogether. Everyone is different. Because of avoiding people due to past incidents, you also lose the chance to meet good people. People that will change your thinking about the negativity of people.

Because of that particular incident, I'm now trying to be more open towards other people. Of course, you still need to be cautious because you may never know. baka pakitang tao lang ang pinapakita sayo. Still, just try to give your trust on others more. :)

Thought number 3:

Good friday. best day to reflect about your spiritual life. where am I with my relationship with my Heavenly Father? Am I living my life according to His purpose in me? Am I being a good example to other people and do they see God in my life? I know I'm not perfect. Well, nobody is. But I'm trying my best. Still, I think what I'm doing now is not enough. Sometimes I fail and give in and let negative thoughts to permeate through my brain. Sometimes getting the best of me. But I know that God is with me and never will He abandon me or forsake me. Thats how much He loves me, His daughter, His princess.

More or less, these are the things that occupied my mind during good friday.

Ending this post with a resolution to be more positive towards everything. :)

0 Child's Play: valentines 2013

Valentines 2013 is the first valentines after 6 years that I get to spend as single. I've been with relationship after relationship that I got used to having a special someone around for valentines. This year is different: I have no one to spend it with. But you see, God has this special sense of humor. God made me realize that love has many other forms. that it is not only for your special someone, better half, boyfriend or whatever you want to call them. Love is a general feeling, emotion or affection you share with other people: even strangers.

February 14, 2013. Me and my office mates decided to go to UP fair. The line-up that day was sooo gooood! up dharma down, urbandub, kamikazee, itchyworms, giniling festival, moonstar 88, sandwich, franco and ang bandang shirley, they had me at Up dharma down. :) Feb 14 is a working day so unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances, we left the office late, around 9pm. + travel time and all, we arrived there at around 11PM. Long story short, when we arrived, the tickets are already sold out. :( We tried looking for scalpers at the front gate but sadly, none could be found.

Crestfallen, we decided to just stay for a while and think of what to do next. That was the time I spotted this little girl playing in the field. See picture below. haha :)

Kimberly
 Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz

I saw her playing with her toy and had this urge to get to know her. I went up to her and asked for her basic information. Her name, where she lived, and why is she there. (It was12MN and she is outside. alone.) after all the introductions done, we just played with each other. we played with her toy, (second picture from here. dunno what its called. :) ) we played tag, and laughed to our hearts content. As I was playing with her 2 other kids came to us - one was her brother.

Children playing
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz

Playing with these kids made me miss being a child again. Just enjoying what life has to offer, not caring about anything else. As we grow older, we think of many other things that we think are essential in our everyday lives but upon closer introspection, those essential things are just trivial matters.

Raphael
Photo Credits: 
Daryl Lapuz

Eventhough we were not able to go in the fair and watch the bands play, I still had a lot of fun. I might say that Valentines 2013 is the best valentines I had so far. :) God really moves in mysterious ways.

Raphael again
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz



Kim and Raph
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz

Me with Kim
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz

The overpriced heart shaped balloon. lol. But its worth it. made a kid smile. that is priceless.
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz




Kim and her toy
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz


Raph
Photo Credits: Daryl Lapuz



Saturday, March 16, 2013

0 Black and White

Why do some people have this irritating habit of not saying what they really mean? I mean, why not just say things straight to the point instead of beating around the bush? Is it that hard to do? Why do you have to deceive others that you mean one thing but what you really meant was the opposite? Do you get what I'm saying? or am I being difficult too?

SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY!! FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!

If you don't want to continue what you are saying then STFU and don't open the topic. It's frustrating you know?! You have spiked our interest and then withdraw the whole thing. It's like your in the middle of watching a (insert favorite TV program, sports match or whatever interest you most) and then suddenly, *suspense* BLACKOUT! what would you feel? happy? I doubt. Frustration to the highest level.

The world would be a better place if people would just stop pretending something they are not and accept the fact that we are all unique individuals and that you don't need to kiss-ass someone to be friends with them. Just be yourself. Things will be simpler that way. Trust me. Be black and white. In the first place, why would you do something just to please others? Why waste your time on them when you can spend time on improving yourself instead? Are they really worth the effort? Can't you just enjoy life by yourself? Are you that weak that you cant even stand on your own two feet?

Just some random thoughts from a very melancholic mind.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

0 Of Mixed Emotions and Such

Awesome Buddy,

I'm not quite sure how to start this. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Just to let this out maybe. I'm in no position to be like this, I know, because we are not a "WE" but you cant deny the fact that there is (or was? I don't really know) something, right?

You are a good conversationalist. We can go for hours and hours about any topic under the sun. Knowing you made me feel that I am a beautiful person inside and out. That I can do anything that I set my mind to. You made me face reality with a solid resolution. You helped me move on.

From the start, I know I cant fall for you even though you are easy to fall with. You know your way to a woman's heart. You know what you are doing. You are a perfect gentleman if you want to be one. I kept my emotions under control whenever I am with you. There are far too many complications to mention. I know its dangerous to be with you but still you draw me in like a moth to the fire. I know I'll get burned if I move closer but your light and your warmth began its hypnotic rhythm. I was entranced. I couldn't get out. Especially when you said to me that you liked me. To hell with every last restraint. I went in for a dive. Even though I know that I am not ready. Even though I know that I will only get hurt. Even though warning signs are flashing everywhere. I pretended I didn't see it coming. I turned the other way...

And then it did happen. One minute, we were texting like lovey doovey couples then another minute you are not texting anymore. What gives? is this just one of your games wherein if you made the girl fall for you you move on to your next target?  I believe our friendship is more than that but that was what you made me feel. It hurts.

I know I have to set my foot forward to prevent any more damage. To guard my heart from being broken again. You are still my awesome buddy, that will not change. a word of advice though, don't cross the line if you are not ready.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

0 Love is in the Air


It's february again, the so called "love month". Here and there, you can see restaurants, shops, sweetshops and other specialty stores offering valentines promos. If you have a special someone, surely you will be exited now, thinking where you and your sweerheart are going to spend valentines day ( especially if you are a girl ) More pressure to the guys :P lol But for those of us that are currently single, times like these can bring on a lot of pressure: pressure to find someone to date, pressure to let out feelings be known to our crushes, pressure to find someone to be with so that we wont be alone and not be the laughing stock of our friends.

inverted heart, fireworks, moa

In the pursuit of wanting someone, sometimes we look for someone to love just for the sake of having someone around. We sometimes fail to see the whole point of being in a relationship. We look for completeness in other people and if you feel that they cant complete you, you break up with that person and look again for someone to complete you. The cycle goes on and on.

You might ask what is wrong in this equation? that this trial and error thing is what is normally done these days, right? Wrong. You see, you cant find completeness in another person. Only out heavenly father can complete us.

as by pastor Dennis' blog, and i quote: www.actlikeaman.org

Dont enter a relationship wanting and broken. Enter a relationship as a person who is complete - a person who has a lot to give because he is full of God's love and asurance.


During this season, let us evaluate ourselves: our goals, intentions and values, if what we are doing is in sync with what God wants us to do.

Remember this though:

men: pursue your women! treat her like the princess that she is.

Women: you are made to be pursued. Not the other way around. God designed us this way. 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

0 New years resolution - Not!


Photo from peoriapalace.com

     Another year had passed and a new one has come and as a tradition, many of us start the year with a new year resolution. Be it one thing or a long list. But as most of us know, many new year resolutions last till the last week of February to second week of March only. Personally, I'm not fond of writing new year resolutions. What I usually do at the start of the year is GOAL SETTING.

     Being stuck at home for 5 days (I was literally bored out of my wits on the second day), I began to think about my life and what direction to take. may it be financial, spiritual, career, relationship and whatever aspect you might think of. Here is a list of what I plan to do in no particular order.

GOAL NUMBER 1

2013, I offer this year to God. May he use me to work His ways in reaching His people. I also want to deepen my relationship with Him and that i may keep the fire to serve Him burning.

GOAL NUMBER 2

Continue what I started in 2012 in terms of how to handle my finances. To continue and with my investments and to make it grow (stocks, mutual funds, business, etc) and to continue with my budget plan. No more impulse buying!!!

GOAL NUMBER 3

Travel more! I want to travel and meet people to know about their life and culture. I want to see other countries and see what makes us different from each other and what commonality we share with them.

GOAL NUMBER 4

Think about my career path. I'm still young so I think I can handle career shifts more than if I shift when I'm older. I'm still thinking if I will work outside the country or if I should stay here.

GOAL NUMBER 5

Write on my blog more often!! I'm a lazy person. I write when I feel like writing. I should set a schedule and follow it. like once a week or twice a month. whatever is more convenient. I have so much many pending posts!

GOAL NUMBER 6

Take care of my physical body more. I'm not getting younger and what I do at this point in my life contributes to my future. I should think for the long term. Exercise regularly, drink lots of fluids, have 8 hours sleep (especially this one about sleeping) and go out and enjoy the sun more. :) I also miss playing sports (badminton and table tennis are my favorite sports) I also miss taekwondo! :( Hope I can get back to training.

GOAL NUMBER 7

Though this is not top priority, I hope to fall head over heels in love again. Hope I can find someone who makes me feel like a princess this year :)

GOAL NUMBER 8

Continue being a good friend.

GOAL NUMBER 9

LOVE myself more! I've spent the past 7 years going from one relationship to the other. The other half was always the center of my world. This year, I will appreciate myself more. I wont compromise what I believe in for someone. If they love me then good. If they don't, fine. Its not my loss. The biggest loss I can have, and one I will surely wont forgive myself is losing myself in the process. I'm at this point in my life where I love myself more than any human being. This is not me being selfish but me having self-respect.

GOAL NUMBER 10

Continue with my 30 before 30 list. 4 down, 26 to go! :) i still have 7 years :)


Monday, December 31, 2012

0 2012 - The Year that Was

2012. What a year you have been. Many believed that you will bring about the end of the world. For a time, I believed that my world actually ended. Not literally, but emotionally. 2012 brought the end of the only love that I fought so hard to keep. I did many stupid things that I wont be proud of ever. In the end all effort was in vain. Well, not entirely. The ordeal made me stronger. It made me appreciate and value myself more. That if ever I love again, I should save some for myself so that if ever things would not work out, I would still have something left to move forward with. That the transition wouldnt be as difficult. What I went through this year was the lowest that my heart had ever felt. It started out great but towards the third quarter, all hell broke loose. Still, no choice but to move forward. The very fact that I'm still here and surviving and making the most of my life proves that no matter what comes my way, I can conquer them and I will come out victorious. of course, I wont be able to accomplish it without God's grace.

2012. The year that strengthened my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I'm proud to say that I had established my personal relationship with Him. Though I am not perfect, He loves me just as I am. No conditions. Though I am not worthy, He sent His only son to redeem me from my sins. He doesn't need perfection because nobody is perfect. Accepting Him as our Lord and savior and surrendering our life to Him is all that He needs. Without my victory family and friends, I would still be a drifter. Who knows what could've happened. I'm really thankful that I had been with the best crowd during those tough times.

2012. My career had been great. I got promoted, conquered things I didn't know I can and somehow contented with my current project ( more like I had no choice but to accept it though. Lol :) ) Anyway, It's just a matter of perspective. 2012 closed with a possibility of many new opportunities waiting to be taken. I know whatever path I chose, I just have to put my heart in it and everything will come out for the better.

2012. The year that I get to value my friends more. The year that I begin to share my life to girlfriends. This is a first since I was always the type who keeps everything to herself. It was always me and the boyfriend. This year, I had been more outgoing. If I had known that sharing your life to others would feel this good, I would've done this before. Oh well, its not yet too late. 23 is still young. :) 2012 had been friendship awareness year :))

2012. I had strengthened my relationship with my family and made me value them more. I got to bond with my sister more and somehow was able to establish a normal relationship. After so many years! Lol! During our growing up years, we always have this cat-mouse relationship so this year was definitely an achievement.

2012. On a personal note, everything that happened made me who I am now. I became more mature. It made me realize that I'm not a child anymore. Time to face reality and claim this stage of my life with flying colors. 10, 20, 30 years from now, when I look back at this stage, I would want to look back, smile and say to myself that no matter what happened, good or bad, I had faced every challenges head-on. No shortcuts. No easy way out and that I had conquered it the best possible, Godly and morally acceptable way. Though I will eternally have my childish ways ( yes it will always be a part of me. That, I'm sure. It is who I am. ) I know I will handle everything gracefully.

All in all, 2012 was the best and the worst year for me. First quarter started out great. Second quarter was a bit rocky but was still good. Third quarter, all hell broke loose. Last quarter was shitty but somehow it became bearable. Thank you for the lessons, memories and crazy stuffs. Everything molded me and made me who I am today.

Looking forward to an awesome 2013..

Happy New Year!!

Monday, November 12, 2012

0 HERE IN MY LIFE


I have never walked on waterFelt the waves beneath my feet butAt Your word, Lord, I’ll receive YourFaith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found meIn that very same placeAll my failings surely would've drowned meStill You made a way
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonI’m kneeling again at Your throneWhere would I be without YouHere in my life, here in my life?
You have said that all the heavensSing for joy at one who findsThe way to freedom, truth of JesusBrought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw meThrough the eyes of Your graceAnd though the cost was Your beloved for meStill you made a way
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonI’m kneeling again at Your throneWhere would I be without YouHere in my life, here in my life?
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonI’m kneeling again at Your throneWhere would I be without YouHere in my life, here in my life?
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonYou are my freedomJesus, You’re the reason
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonYou are my freedomJesus, You’re the reason
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonI’m kneeling again at Your throneWhere would I be without YouHere in my life, here in my life?
You are my freedomJesus, You’re the reasonI'm kneeling again at Your throneWhere would I be without YouHere in my life, here in my life?

Every time I hear this song, I can't help but cry. This song explains God's love clear and simple. That no matter how imperfect, how sinful, how unworthy we are, God wanted US. Yes, you and me. He loves us so much that He can't stand us being separated from Him because of our sins. He made a way to save us from our sinful nature. He even sent His Son, Jesus, to take away all our sins. He sacrificed His own son for you and me. (John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in His shall not perish but have eternal life)Who else could love like that? No human being could exceed His perfect and unconditional love. Where would we be without His love? 

For every soul that seek and find Him, all the angels on heaven rejoice. If you experience God's love in your life, you will never want to leave His sight ever again. You see, nobody said following God was easy. Its easier to conform to the patterns of our sinful world than to follow Him but one thing is sure, its all worth it in the end. :)




Friday, October 12, 2012

0 Change

You cant insist on someone that you have changed. Words mean nothing. People may doubt your words but they might believe you if they see it in your actions and in the way you live. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

0 Looking at the Silver Lining

Last Saturday I woke up feeling numb and empty. So I did the only thing i can do. I prayed. The prayer goes something like this:


Thank you for giving me another day to live Lord God. As I reflect upon my life today, I shudder at the thought that you haven't left me even though I have fallen under your grace many times. Of all the mistakes that I have done, many things could have happened. It could have been worse. But here I am today slowly but surely getting up. You are truly a great Father. Let me lead a life pleasing to Your eves starting today. No more double standards. Lead my life to serve you and do what you want me to do. Teach me to put You first above all things. I know I can't do this on my own. It is only by your grace that I will be able to get over this. I love you! Amen.


I posted this as my status in my Facebook because I don't want to forget it and for me to have something to read through whenever I feel down again. :) Walking with the Lord is not easy but if you hold on to Him tightly, everything is all worth it! :)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

2 Letter to Myself



the rock, puerto galera
The rock, Puerto Galera, Philippines

Dearest Yza,

   Whatever happens, whatever you have done, even if the whole world is against you, ( Well, if ever you have that feeling because it is impossible to know everyone in your country, let alone the whole world ) Remember that there is someone who love you. You have me. I love you. I will never abandon you. You will never be alone. Besides, you also have a great Father who loves you dearly.

     Its normal to fall once in a while. You are not perfect. But always remember the lessons learned along the way so that you won't repeat your mistake. Committing the same mistake over and over again is insanity.Last time I checked, you are in a healthy state of mind (or so I believe? lol)

     Guard your heart. Don't let anyone hurt you. You are a daughter of God. You are His princess. You are to be treated with royalty. Accept nothing less.

     Be confident! Why will you self-pity? Never compare yourself with anyone. To each his/her own. You have the power to conquer the world.

     Continue your progress. You are doing great. Not perfect but okay enough.

     You are beautiful! Thinking otherwise is an insult to your Creator. Everything He creates is beautiful.

     Smile. It brings good vibes. :)

     Healing takes time but I know at the end, you will come out a better person.

     Be independent. Don't push yourself to someone who does not know your worth. You are precious. Don't think little of yourself. You don't need anyone's opinion. Just do what your heart tells you. Yes, you might be hurt in the process, but at least you have nothing to regret.

     Live fully, love with all your heart, do what you want! Nobody is stopping you. Be like a child, basking in innocence, trusting and always thinking positive.

     If others hurt you, forgive and forget. Don't let others bring you down. Trust fully. If they broke your trust and ask for forgiveness, give it to them. Don't hold grudges. Bitterness is a root that strangles the heart. Don't let it strangle yours. Let it all go. Don't let it define your future. You are loved. You have me.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.                                                                                                  1 Corinthians 13:4-7            

And now these thriee remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.                                                                                                 1 Corinthians 13:13

     Strenghten your relationship with Him.

But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.                                                                                                            Matthew 6:33


     Never loose hope in the future. Trust in Him. Don't forget you have your father who loves you. Lift your problems to Him. Baliktad ka eh. If times are okay, you seek the Lord, but when trouble comes, you shy away from Him. When the road is bumpy, that's the time that you should hold on to Him stronger. You can't do anything on your own. :) Why sulk when you can be happy? Life is short! Enjoy your life while you can.

     I LOVE YOU YZA! You are a strong woman. I know you can do anything. I believe in you :)


Love,
Your Inner Self
                                      

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